It's Never Too Late

What is holding you back from living the kind of life that you really want to live? When I was a teenager, nothing excited me more than the prospect of publishing a magazine. It wasn’t enough to just write for another publication and call myself a published writer. I tried that; some of my work was published while other pieces were not. Plus, I wanted complete control over both the editorial and the business side of a magazine.

So what did I do? I decided to start my own magazine. When I announced my plan, it was met with a lot of resistance. Still, I had the encouragement of my family and close friends to embark on such a large task, especially at 16 years old. I really had no idea what I was doing so it was scary for me. I believe some people allow fear to hold them back from their life dreams. It is so easy to become comfortable in our everyday lives that we forever dim our light to dream, to step out, see what the end will bring.

I was very scared. I was scared of wasting money (and I didn’t have much at all), scared of friends and family seeing me fail and mostly scared of the naysayers’ “didn’t I tell you?” I still trudged on, researching magazine formats, themes, editorial content, layout, pricing, distribution, etc. One of my high school teachers believed in me so much that she allowed the time I should have been concentrating on class work to focus on building my magazine.

Was the magazine a success? It depends on how you define success. I no longer publish the magazine but at the time, it circulated five states and was sold in five local bookstores. But something bigger happened in my life as a result of publishing the magazine. It gave me voice and encouragement. It also led me to a $20,000 college scholarship. It led me to become a Chips Quinn Scholar and to intern at The Tennessean in Nashville. It led me to an interview with Oprah Winfrey’s father who told me that my drive and ambition reminded him of his daughter. “All you have to do is keep up the momentum,” he said. Those were all life-defining moments for me.

I was so worried about failure and my perceived notion of success that it almost made me stop pursuing this dream. There are many of you who are seeking a major career change in life, or who want to start a business, or pursue a hidden and buried talent, but it’s so much easier to say, “well I’m married now, I have kids now, I’m too old to dream, I don’t have the time, I don’t have the money, I don’t have the patience it would take, it’s not realistic, I don’t have the knowledge somebody else has.” So after all of those excuses, what’s left? Two things: first, the comfort of following that same ole day to day schedule, which may or may not ever encourage growth in your life, and second, what Langston Hughes would call a dream deferred.

Today marks the first day of the rest of your life. Today, as you read these words, commit to changing your own outlook. Don’t walk blindly through each day depending on a set routine. There’s comfort in familiarity but remember – even our comforts could be snatched from us at a moment’s notice. Fear doesn’t exist anywhere except in the mind, and opportunity waits for no one. Own it and know it for yourself, that you are destined for great things; you just have to boldly walk over and open the door when it knocks. It’s never too late.

Life Lessons

I look forward to going to church each week because I always leave feeling better about who I am and my place in the world. As we sing and as Pastor Cosby speaks, I am searching for my own personal message: what lesson am I supposed to get from this experience. My spirit is filled and the message prepares me for the week ahead.

Lessons, whether the result of something good or bad, are always there to teach us something about ourselves. I call them life lessons. There is a reason for every single experience that we encounter. If I drive over a nail and get a flat tire, my lesson could simply be a test of patience, especially if I’m in a hurry.

Still, there are bigger lessons and people deal with much larger issues and ask, “why me?” At times, it is so difficult to equate serious situations, serious illness, life or death incidents, with a simple, “it happened for a reason.” I’m reminded many times of what Dr. Maya Angelou says, which is to stop and say “thank you” when you are in the middle of the biggest crises of your life. Whenever you are being hit upside your head and you can’t understand why, she says to say “thank you” because you know that your faith is so strong that whatever you’re going through is only there to teach you more about yourself. On the other side of every storm is a greater sense of joy.

In the meantime, don’t allow that outside experience to define you internally. You are NOT your illness. You are NOT your current state of unemployment. You are NOT the person, the villain, the enemy that others try to characterize you as. You define who you want to be in the world. You define yourself. You were born alone and you will die alone so your life is up to you and how you make it.

I thought about this a couple of weeks ago as I found myself standing face to face with a “larger than life” experience for me. For a second, I wanted to crumble and fold up, but then I heard a voice saying, “how dare you!” It shook me at my core because the voice was right. How dare I focus on this one bad situation when God has given so much to me.

As I think about how situations fell into place for me, and how blessed I really am at this stage in my life, I felt ashamed because I was about to allow one problem to define myself and my character. And to do that would be an insult to the many blessings I have received.

And then I started to think about this even more and I began to relate problems and lessons to my overall purpose in life. When we live our lives with purpose – and we actively participate in each day, we realize we are not defined by any single issue or situation. We realize that we are put on earth for a larger reason and at the core of anything we go through in life, is our method of adapting and moving on. We learn the lesson and then we move on from it. Thank you, God, for this day.

Circular Validation

Do you hear me? Can you see me? Does what I say matter to you? Above anything else, every person on earth wants to know that when they communicate, it is received by others. Every single person wants to know that when they cry, somebody else hurts with them and when they laugh, somebody else is happy because of their laughter. In an ideal world, communication would be so simple, and it would be easy to understand that at the core, every single person simply wants to be validated. Yes I hear you, yes I see you and yes, what you say matters to me. I finally got this lesson after hearing Oprah say it so many times on her show.

But what happens when you do not feel loved and validated? I believe that God puts certain circumstances in our lives so we must always listen and pay attention to what He is trying to tell us. When something is off balance in my life, I stop to think, what am I not doing correctly? The answer is always right before my eyes. If you ever start to feel as though you are not worthy and nobody loves you or nobody is around to validate you, ask yourself, why not? You have to love yourself first. You have to know for yourself that you are worthy to be loved and heard.

But here's the harsh reality. Not everybody will like you, listen to you or even know that you exist. You could be standing right in front of their face and they will not see you because they choose not to accept that you matter to them. And that is okay. What is beautiful about our world is how diverse it is. For as many people who don't vibe with you and don't connect with your thoughts and energy, there are just as many folk who will. I have watched people force an alignment with others and it never works. If you have to work hard at trying to fit in with somebody, they are not right for you. I realized in my life that there were people who I had to dismiss as my friends. They did not fit into my circle of validation.

Your friends should bring you closer to the person who you really are inside. Your friends should elevate your passions in life and there should be a natural alignment. The key is finding people who are congruent with your thoughts and beliefs, and who share your passions. Once you find these people in your life, be sure to practice what you believe and receive. Listen to them, see them for who they are and let them know that what they say really matters to you.

Welcome

I actually started my blog several years ago, as you can see, and made only one entry - a very short entry, I might say. The main reason I hadn't blogged is because I've been very busy with my marketing company, Shaun Lockhart Apparel & Promotions (www.shaunlockhart.com) and working with clients to help build their businesses. I've also made a lot of life-changes that catapulted me face to face with decisions I thought I would never need to make. But now what I know for sure is that life happens to all of us, whether we want it to or not. Somebody told me once, "change is mandatory...how we adapt is optional." And if you think about that statement, it's very powerful and very on-point.

What I hope to do with my blog is to encourage thought and conversation. When I was a teenager, I published a magazine called Your World, and its purpose was to enlighten, inspire and entertain readers. I was featured many times in the Courier Journal and other local publications as the "Young Publisher" and when people asked why I wanted to publish a magazine, my response was always the same. If something that I write sparks just one person to change the way he or she moves through life, I have served a purpose and feel as though I have pleased God.

So the same is now true for my blog. Though this blog is linked to my company sites, the purpose is certainly not to sell anything or persuade anyone to use my products or services. My blog is my personal diary, and an outlet for me. I am not even concerned about how many people will see it or follow this because through the law of attraction, those who need to hear what I'm writing will find it, I believe. That is what matters most to me. So for those reading, welcome to my virtual livingroom. Sit for a while and have coffee. Let's chat it up a bit. You are also welcome to follow me on twitter @shaunlockhart.

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Welcome to my new blog. I hope everyone will stop by to visit and see what the latest on various activities are. Thanks again and share this with everyone you know!

You may also log onto my web site at www.shaunlockhart.com.

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