Do you hear me? Can you see me? Does what I say matter to you? Above anything else, every person on earth wants to know that when they communicate, it is received by others. Every single person wants to know that when they cry, somebody else hurts with them and when they laugh, somebody else is happy because of their laughter. In an ideal world, communication would be so simple, and it would be easy to understand that at the core, every single person simply wants to be validated. Yes I hear you, yes I see you and yes, what you say matters to me. I finally got this lesson after hearing Oprah say it so many times on her show.
But what happens when you do not feel loved and validated? I believe that God puts certain circumstances in our lives so we must always listen and pay attention to what He is trying to tell us. When something is off balance in my life, I stop to think, what am I not doing correctly? The answer is always right before my eyes. If you ever start to feel as though you are not worthy and nobody loves you or nobody is around to validate you, ask yourself, why not? You have to love yourself first. You have to know for yourself that you are worthy to be loved and heard.
But here's the harsh reality. Not everybody will like you, listen to you or even know that you exist. You could be standing right in front of their face and they will not see you because they choose not to accept that you matter to them. And that is okay. What is beautiful about our world is how diverse it is. For as many people who don't vibe with you and don't connect with your thoughts and energy, there are just as many folk who will. I have watched people force an alignment with others and it never works. If you have to work hard at trying to fit in with somebody, they are not right for you. I realized in my life that there were people who I had to dismiss as my friends. They did not fit into my circle of validation.
Your friends should bring you closer to the person who you really are inside. Your friends should elevate your passions in life and there should be a natural alignment. The key is finding people who are congruent with your thoughts and beliefs, and who share your passions. Once you find these people in your life, be sure to practice what you believe and receive. Listen to them, see them for who they are and let them know that what they say really matters to you.
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6 comments:
This is so true, how lonely the world would be without love and validation. We all, at some point in our lives want to feel that we belong somewhere—and to someone. We want to feel safe, that we have a home. Most of all, we want to feel cherished and loved, validated and understood.
Go head Lockhart! Proud of you for starting to write again! Follow and never put your pen down again!
Thank you so much for writing this! I can relate because I had a "friend" who told me all the time that they were my friend, but their actions were not always those of what a friend's should be. There is a fine line between constructive criticism and abusive negativity. I was experiencing very low self esteem so it was very easy for this "friend" to mistreat me since I allowed it. When someone mistreats you and tells you it is "just in your head" the real name is called "Mental Abuse". Thank GOD this friend showed their true colors and mental short comings around some real friends who by comparison fell really short of what a real friend should be. They helped me to finally follow my mind and listen to my heart, and realize the truth. After praying to GOD, He helped me to realize I am worthy. I do not know why someone would treat me this way but what I know for sure is Faith is all about trusting GOD when you don't understand. So I had to let this person go as my "friend". Once I did, I started to feel much better about myself. If you have a "friend" who blatantly lies to you or about you then you need to RUN and don't look back. DO NOT try to justify in your mind or to anyone why they do what they do. DO NOT try to convince others of what you know to be true. The truth is very simple that the "friend" needed to put me down to bring themselves up. They made sure no one ever questions the lies so they can keep them going on and on. You can believe them all you want but I promise you this - you are next! I embrace the words of Maya Angelou who says, "I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel". And like you said in your Welcome message, "those who need to hear what I am writing will find it".
you are soooo right when you say "we try to align ourselves with people" when the universe, God, Jehovah is involved there is no "try" it is easy no force involved...
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